Pain or Pleasure?
For 3 years I have been suffering from chronic wrist and elbow pain. Yes, of course, it has been caused by the repetitive movement for work, but despite the surgery, physiotherapy treatments, the pain did not go away, it kept jumping from the wrist, to hand, to elbow – alternating from right hand to left hand.
What was going on?
Unresolved trauma can take a significant toll on your physical health.
Unresolved childhood trauma is particularly insidious, with effects that are gradual and cumulative.
Having an understanding of how your body responds to stress and trauma can empower you to partner with your treatment providers and actively attend to your physical health care needs.
My 3rd elbow injury forced me to stay at home for 4 months. Just imagine how can a person like me, who hassles a lot, do a lot, non-stop, can stop?
I did not listen to my body’s whispers, so I heard it shout!
My dominant right hand literally stopped me from doing its’ job. It loses its strength; it loses its full capacity.
My physiotherapist said, “I’ve got a muscle strength of an 80-year-old woman”. What? Yes! Lifting a spoon to self-feed became impossible, let alone doing work or housework.
Did I struggle? Of course, I did.
The first two weeks were horrendous. It overwhelmed me and the people who were trying to treat me – I mean the tennis and golf elbow on my right hand. I felt stuck in terror, isolation, and again shame.
But, as a person who has survived PTSD, I said to myself “hang on, I know this, this feels familiar”. When we are under any stress, the nervous system will initiate a fight-or-flight response as an attempt to re-establish safety and connection.
So, I sat down and did my RTT work on myself. I called my mum and resolved my issues with her. I emailed my manager and expressed to her my needs. I submitted myself to the painful process of shockwave therapy and I have commanded my arm to heal.
Dr Bessel van der Kolk became my companion while recuperating. I internalised his book “The Body Keeps the Score”. I took away new insights and a deeper understanding that trauma is stored in the body, it reshapes the body and brain compromising the sufferer’s capacity for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
Trauma impairs regulation in all domains (cognitive, emotional, physical, social, and interpersonal). Parents who experienced parental post-traumatic distress influence children post-traumatic symptoms and distress – resulting in the intergenerational transmission of trauma.
By understanding that my parent’s trauma made me who I am now, set me free. I forgive them and set them free. As a mother, I pledge to raise my children my way, so they don’t have to recover from their childhoods.
Safe connections are fundamental to recovery. Bonding and building relationships can heal.
Healing is about restoring the process of development of trust in a significant relationship with oneself and one’s ability to create a bidirectional communication between the body and the mind.
There is no pleasure in pain. Pain prepared me for pleasure.
Have you had something similar? Tell me about it in the comments! ⇣ ⇣
(PLS NOTE. the photo was taken 3 years ago.)
